66. Give your child into God's hands

I received a lovely email over the weekend and would like to share it with you. The writer is unknown, but in his/her absence I would like to thank him/her for this wonderful message.

A British environmentalist, Alfred Wallace, one day picked up the cocoon of a moth and took it home. After a while there was movement inside the cocoon and he noticed that the moth was trying to get out. The moth was struggling and wriggling and truly battling to get out of the small opening of the pear shaped cocoon. Alfred was watching this struggle and he felt sorry for the moth. He decided to help him and he carefully cut open the cocoon with a knife and freed the moth. When the moth came out, he had small wings and his body appeared to be swollen. Alfred thought that it was only temporary and that the moth's wings will grow and that he will be able to fly away in no time. But this didn't happen. The moth did try to fly, but he couldn't get it right and he died within a day or two.

Alfred tried to do good by helping the moth, but at the end of the day he didn't help him at all. Alfred didn't know that the moth needed to struggle to get out of the cocoon in order to extract fluids from his body into his wings, to help the moth to be able to fly when he gets out of the cocoon. He needed this struggling process in order to survive. Alfred helped him in the short term, but caused his death in the long term.

The same is true with our children. Our children will go through similar painful processes during their lives. They will struggle and they will wriggle and they will try to free themselves from the 'cocoon' they find themselves in. It will be a very painful process, something that will cause us as parents to cry. We will hate seeing them struggling like that. And our first instinct will be to cut open the cocoon and free them from the painful process. We want to automatically do our best to make it as easy for them as possible. But we will deny our child the opportunity to grow. We will deny them the lessons that they can learn from it. They will never learn that their own choices have consequences, they will never learn perseverance, they will always sit back and wait for someone to free them from the cocoon, they will not believe in themselves and believe that they can make it out of there on their own. They will never be able to test their own abilities; they will never know what it feels like to spread their wings.

Gary Thomas writes in his book 'Sacred Parenting' that a parents deepest hurt is also the child's most important one.

As difficult as it may be to see your child struggling, sometimes it is better to leave them in the short term, in order for them to grow in the long term. Now when I say leave them, I mean be right beside them, but guide them into growing into all that God has ordained for them. God has wonderful plans for your child. Afterall your child is His to begin with. He knows everything about your child and knows what will make him/her prosper and shine. He knows the best way to handle your child. Spend time in the presence of God and ask Him how to handle certain situations. Ask Him what His goals and purposes for your child are.

Sometime we as parents get so wound up and so involved that we fail to see the bigger picture, that we fail to see further than the present moment. Our feelings, our hopes and our dreams for our children get in the way. I think the time has come to stand back and to allow God's dreams for our children to prevail. Allow God to get them out of the cocoon, even if they need to struggle a bit. The beautiful butterfly that will come out will be worth it.

Your child needs to fly, your child needs to reach her/his full potential, let go and let God. It is liberating, it is true freedom.

Thank you Father that we are Your children. We are so glad that You know best. You are awesome and wonderful. Help us in the process of letting go. Trusting in You is liberating and it frees us from this world. Thank you Father, we are so glad that You are there and that You know best. Amen

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