47. Find your strengths in life

As part of the PERMA model we are discussing I would like to expand on the last letter A:

A - Achievement

We have come to the last element of our PERMA model, and that is achievement. According to the Corporate Finance Institute ( PERMA Model - Overview, Core Elements and Workplace Application (corporatefinanceinstitute.com) - 8 March 2022), we all take pride in something we've finished or accomplished that strengthens our self-esteem and our confidence that we are worth something. When we achieve something, we feel good and want to do more and become more. In other words, it is not that you must be the best in something, receive the gold medal, or be the top achiever. But you need to have goals, aspire to learn something new, stretch yourself, and surprise yourself. It is not achieving the goal, but working toward the goal that gives us a sense of well-being and happiness. Therefore, have goals you can work toward in your work, in relationships, in exercising, in your eating plan, and so forth. Give yourself something to aspire to; we all need those goals in life, for it greatly aids in living a flourishing life. Otherwise, life will be very dull and flat with nothing to look forward to.

In order to add a little color to your life, you can also work toward mastering something. Whether it is a new language, cooking skills, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, exercising, photography, etc., it will add some flavor to your life. Working at mastering something really builds self-esteem and helps your confidence. Even if you just achieve 1 percent of improvement a week, you can be quite good before two years have passed. Just do not give up. It will be worth the effort.

Part of achievement is also knowing what your strengths in life are and working with it. The strengths need to be essentially who you are, and they must be effortless and energizing to you. Once you have identified your strengths, then find opportunities to use them. Ask yourself, "How can I focus on my specific strength? How do I use it to bring about a positive emotion? How can I use it to be fully engaged and in the moment?" Zoom in on that and use it.

Recognize and manage your weaknesses, but don't spend too much time on them. Rather, focus on your strengths. It really makes you happy to focus on and use your strengths! Your strengths energize you! In a team situation, use your strengths; go for that. Don't just do what people think would be best in a situation, rather do what you are good at. Decide to see and appreciate the beauty instead of the negative and ugly.

So how do you know what your strengths are? There are many tools you can use. One that I often hear from fellow Christians is called Strengths Finder, and they found it very valuable. You can search it and have a look at it. One that I quite like (and the test is for free) is one from the Institute on Character. You can take the survey for free, and they will list the twenty-four strengths from your strongest to your weakest. It was truly spot-on for me and my clients, and it is very interesting when you explore these strengths a bit deeper. The link to the VIA survey is:

https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register

Here are the twenty-four strengths divided in their six categories:

  1. Wisdom and Knowledge-Love of Learning, Perspective, Judgment, Creativity, Curiosity
  2. Humanity-Love, Kindness, Social intelligence
  3. Justice-Teamwork, Leadership, Fairness
  4. Temperance-Humility, Prudence, Forgiveness, Self-Regulation
  5. Transcendence-Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Spirituality, Gratitude, Humor, Hope
  6. Courage-Zest, Bravery, Honesty, Perseverance

Which do you think are your top strengths? Of course as Christians, we have within us all of these, and some are really beneficial to us. For example, we need to forgive people because the bitterness of holding on to the hurt is detrimental to our spiritual growth. All of us as Christians have spirituality as a root, and all of us love God and are expected to love our neighbors. All of us need to be grateful and have hope. Yes, this is all true. But these are inherit strengths within you that require no effort on your part. It is so easy for you to portray these strengths you do not even think about it; it is effortless and you can excel in them. For example I know I must forgive people and with God's grace and a lot of prayer I do, but my son's strength is forgiveness, for him it is so easy, he doesn't even think twice about it. Someone might hurt him today and tomorrow he will forget all about it and move on as normal treating that person the same as the rest. It is truly effortless for him.

Find out what your top five strengths are. Use any tool you deem appropriate. Then have a look at these strengths. For instance, if your strength is kindness, then ask yourself the following questions:

-       What does kindness think like?

-       What does kindness feel like?

-       How does kindness act?

-       How can I use kindness in my relationships, in my team, on holiday, when I lead, alone at home, etc.?

Ask yourself these questions over all your strengths, and decide how you are going to use them. Using your signature strengths on a daily basis energizes you and helps you to lead a flourishing life. No matter what your current occupation is, you can use your strengths right there where you are. Who knows, maybe your strengths will lead you onto a new path in the process of using them.

(Excerpt from Flourishing: God's Way by Ilze Henderson)

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